Immediate Regret

If you read my first blog post and are here with me then congrats to your because you have already shown more dedication than I have in this endevor. Although I will give myself a small pat on the back that I have come back to even write this.

So I woke up this morning with immediate regret. The high of starting this blog has already worn off in less than 24 hours which to be honest is a new record. It probably has to do with my impulse control which is none existent right now (you should see my hair buzz circa Britney Spears 2008). But I want to be dedicated to something and I want to make improvements - I just don't know how to keep

fifteen hours later

I was typing this post about how I felt about my idea to start this blog when I got a call from my dad that my grandfather just passed away...I obviously stopped writing.

While I can remember the feelings I had when I first started writing this morning, they mean so very little now. Is paying for a domain and starting a blog a good idea? I don't know. But in terms of regret, there are so many worse things I could have done in the past two days. And there are real regrets - like not spending enough time with your loved ones.

My grandfather did a lot for me growing up but one of the things that I will always remember he said to me was "happiness is a choice". I was in middle school and thought he was full of shit. Pretty much it took me way into adulthood before I realized that while a lot of the world is out of our control and sometimes even our mental health is not fully within our control but a lot of times - you can choose to be happy.

So instead of ending with regret, I am going to choose to be happy. Happy that I am trying. That I woke up this morning, I got to watch my kids play sports and I got to remember all of the worderful memories I have of knowing my grandfather as closely as I did. Did I practice guitar, no - did I do anything around the house, also no - but I finished typing this post and I'll be back tomorrow hopefully with the same happy spirit and I'll try again.